Anaya: This Christmas will Daya be here at home?
Me: Yes. …no. We don’t know….why?
Anaya: because she wasn’t last year…
Me: she was for a bit…
Why did I say no?
Anything is possible. My friend told me of how she told her child that he just needed to do this bit of chemo and then he would go to his sports day. He never made it to sports day. The things you and I take for granted …cut deep in another’s world.
We have had to manage Anaya’s feelings and emotions carefully. She was three when all this started. She’s six now. I saw a children’s counsellor very soon after Daya was diagnosed to discuss how to help explain cancer to Anaya. It was brief and effective. Ive needed to learn to do a lot more since then. For example, explaining the situation in an age appropriate manner, communicating, explaining time away and explaining cancer. Anu and I were pretty quick to ensure that Anaya was carefully looked after throughout all of this; especially due to the fact that there would be a lot we could not protect her from.
On the same night Daya was diagnosed, Anu said, ‘we can’t control this cancer, we can only control the experiences they have’.
Love to see you shine in the night, like the diamond you are…nothing feels better than this…
This weekend I was home trying to function on little sleep. Fun-time-Frankie (Daddy) was having fun with Daya at the hospital.
Over the last two years Anaya and I have talked about a lot of things. Cancer and emotions. Emotions and treatment. Treatment and Separation. Life and Death. Love. Most importantly Love. I’ve bought kiddie books on feelings. They aren’t all great but hopefully something comes of them. Whichever way you look at it, she hasn’t had a choice. So I’ve taken the opportunity to try and build some emotional intelligence. Emotional resilience is not something I want her to have at this age. Inevitably it will come too. She is still too young to regulate her emotions. There are some grown ups who still cannot do that! Until then, I’ve got your back kid.
This weekend I’ve been home and they have needed Mummy time. Anaya took these pictures whilst I was sitting on a paint can!
Watch out world. There’s a mini-me in training. She’s better, smarter, kinder, funnier and sharper.
And I do laugh…I’ve started to laugh more because my children are too funny and I’m getting to spend more time with them.
And then, after a long day, we had the ‘she’s my mummy’ fight…
Know this Anaya and team, it wasn’t fair on you. That kills me. But we had your back. Not just me and Daddy. All of us. From nani and Jenny to Vicky and Eve. From Sarah and Lulu to Nuray and Esther. Indi to Wendy, Agnes to Nina and everyone in between. It’s taken a village…
I’ve got you kid. I’ve got you through everything. If you kill someone, I’ll help you bury that body!
Joking! Don’t ever hurt anyone, ever. Daddy won’t like it.
As much as I tell you off, I’ll always be that person who stands in front of you to protect you from anything.
I’ve got you; because I want you to enjoy your childhood and everything after.